Game Day Decrees
The Game Day Decrees are here to knock yo old ass out like your name is Bernard Hopkins and you know it’s way past your bed time for you to be out walking down the mean streets of 32 Kings Road. Yo, B-Hop is a legend…no doubt about it. He might be the toughest 53 year old I know next to Omar after he shaved his head. But my man got his face rocked and fell through those ropes, laying down there casket-ready.
All we needed was Montelle Jordan to show up ringside and sing “Eye on the Sparrow” and we could have put the dirt on ol’ Bernard and been done with it right then and there.
This edition of the Game Day Decrees will recap the action from Week 15 of the NFL, which has officially been dubbed “The Week of the Kicker.” We had 11 kickers score ten or more points for their teams last week. Nine of them made three or more kicks in a single game, while two kickers nailed kicks in wins against their former teams. It felt like Stephen Curry was out there jacking it from half court – 3’s were dropping everywhere! This week is Rivalry Week around the league, as 11 of the 16 games are divisional matchups between teams that are playing for the second time this season and will need a win over a familiar foe at the end of the season. Several teams’ playoff fates will be decided this week if they can avenge their loss from earlier in the year or complete the season sweep over a hated rival. Week 16 is the penultimate weekend of the 2016 NFL season, so you know what that means, right? I have to channel my inner George Pelecanos to set us up for the finale! Let’s get into it!
The Houston Texans are the one team I hate to hate. For real, they have so much potential but find a way to underachieve in games you think they should win. And as soon as you write them off and pick against them, they find a way to come up with a big win like […]
The Tennessee Titans are one of the biggest winners from last week as they kept pace with the AFC South division lead after beating Denver in a gutsy, low-scoring affair. It wasn’t pretty at all, but the Titans relied on their strength of running the rock to neutralize Denver’s elite pass rush and protect QB […]
Andrew Luck’s dominance over the AFC South ended last week when he and his Colts were handled by the Houston Texans. Indy had no answer for Houston’s running game, and failed to protect Andrew Luck enough for him to consistently make plays downfield. We’ve learned over the years that a pressured Luck leads to multiple […]
The Detroit Lions improved to 9-4 last Sunday with just another afternoon of 4th quarter heroics of the cardiac cats, led by the real Matty Ice – Mathew Stafford. Now that game was an eye sore from start to finish. It was truly hard to watch, especially as the Lions struggled with the lowly Bears. […]
The New Orleans Saints’ playoff hopes officially ended last Sunday with a disappointing loss in Tampa Bay. We all predicted that game would be a shootout with the Saints’ top scoring offense and the Bucs’ propensity to air the ball out. But instead, we got a field goal fest (six to be exact) and only […]
The Falcons returned to victory lane after dominating the Rams in Los Angeles last week. They scored six (6), count ‘em, SIX touchdowns. This wasn’t even a contest, so let us count the ways in which the Falcons ran up the scoreboard: Matt Ryan connected with Justin Hardy for a 3-yard pass… Then Tevin Coleman […]
The New England Patriots proved once again why they have been the most successful organization over the last decade after they dismantled the Ravens on Monday night, a team many considered their best rival. Bill Belichick must have brought in Hermione Granger to devise their game plan because that shit was Magic is Might-like (Chapter […]
The Raiders fell from the top of the AFC to not mentioned at all after a humbling loss in Kansas City on Thursday Night Football. Their positioning in the playoff standings drastically changed, dropping from the #1 overall seed down to #5 at the wildcard spot. Now that one loss doesn’t end the Raiders’ post-season […]
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers came of age last week with a big win against their division rival, the New Orleans Saints. It was a game where most people wondered if the young Bucs were ready to take the next step and beat a team that has dominated them over the years. They relied heavily on […]
The Panthers added to their win total last week in an ugly win against San Diego. They handled the Chargers easily but trust me…it was not a game that was easy on the eyes. The Panthers jumped out to an early 10-0 lead when Jonathan Stewart leaped over the line for a goal line TD […]
Oakland proved once again last week that the best defense to have is one that quickly gives up points so your offense can get right back on the field to score themselves. The Raiders came up with an impressive win at home against Buffalo, who tried the exact formula we predicted could possibly give them […]
The Steelers won their third straight game last week after they dismantled the New York Giants. They got another stellar offensive performance, but if you ask me that game was won by their defense which was able to bottle up everything the Giants pass-happy offense tried to do. It started late in the 1st quarter […]
The San Diego Super Chargers caught that Super L last week against Tampa Bay. They came out the gate looking sharp, as Phillip Rivers found Melvin Gordon for an impressive 17 yard gain. They got on the scoreboard when Rivers hit receiver Dontrelle Inman on 35 yarder and Inman made a defender miss and dove […]
The Bengals finally put an end to their terrible losing streak, picking up their first win since October 23rd. It was a great win for WhoDey Nation as they beat the breaks off the Eagles. They got rolling in the 1st quarter when Andy Dalton threw a terrific pass to rookie receiver Cody Core who […]
The Detroit Lions racked up their fourth win in a row after handling the Saints last week in New Orleans. They continue to rely on the heroics of Matt Stafford (341 yards, 2 TDs), the leg of kicker Matt Prater (5 for 5 FGs), and their opportunistic defense (3 INTs) to lead them to victories. […]
The Houston Texans just may be the luckiest team in football. They’ve lost three straight games and still, STILL own a piece of their division lead. It didn’t help them last week being a dome team playing at Lambeau Field – one of the toughest stadiums to visit in the league. But it was also […]